Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk...

...get a paper towel and clean it up!  Better yet, call the dog and have him do it!

A funny saying "There's no sense crying over spilt milk."  It's true, what can you possibly do to un-spill it?  Nothing.  How does this relate to relationships? 

Lets disect.

When you spill a glass of milk how do you react?  Usually pissed off because of the mess you've made you now have to clean up.  What if that mess isn't milk but a fight you've had with your spouse or children? Or maybe you've done something or said something to someone who really didn't deseve it and you see the mess you've made.  Is it too late to cry over it?  Not always, the question is, what are you going to do to fix it?

Does it need fixing?  Is it fixable?  Do you expect an appology from the milk for spilling in the first place?  Who knocked it over?  What are you willing to do to clean up the mess? 

This was an expression Nanny would use if someone was feeling bad about something they had done but was out of their control to change. "There's no sense crying over split milk."  I take that as saying, "get over it, there's nothing you can do about it."  But there is, there always is something that can be done.  You clean it up.

If you hurt someone and immediately afterward realize what you've done, do you feel remorse and appologize? Most of us do.  There are those who would spill a four litre jug of milk and not give it a second thought.  Those individuals really don't care about the feelings of others.  The reason we cry, is because we have feelings, we want to clean up our mess, we don't want to just move on and forget about it.  Sometimes though, we have to.

There will be people in your life who really don't care about you or your feelings, they will use you and when you've out lived your usefullness toss you aside like the empty jug you are.  How you react is the clincer.  Recently I helped a friend make sense of a situation that seemed hopeless, what we disertained from it was, do not respond, a reaction is what the offender is waiting for in order to enable further milk spilling.  So just sit back relax and let them fizzle out.  Then when the time is right pull out the paper towel and clean up the mess.  You will have had a chance to assess the situation and will be able to make the apporpriate decissions in order to clean up the mess.

Sometimes inaction is the only action to take.  Do not react, breath, sit and wait.  See what comes of it.  If it's a situation that requires a split decission then ok, but still take a moment to collect your thoughts and put evey thing in order.  This is the best course of action you can possibly take.


Stay tuned for "No, This Is Not About YOU!"
Tammy.