In my vocabulary anyway...
So as you all know, because I've stuffed it down your throats, I'm doing the Weight Watchers thing to loose weight. To date I'm down 22.8lbs! Yeah me! But there is a component to this process I've avoided like the plague! Exercise! Hate it! Guess I'm lazy at heart!
I have a busy life, mostly spent attending to my teens. I also work full time and only have Saturday and Sunday to do my things, which usually ends up being their things so when would I exercise anyway? OK maybe I could squeeze something in after work between rushing home to make dinner then rushing back out to get to the variously required events my kids are involved in, ya, maybe I could do something (said with rolling eyes) but I don't. Partly the time constraints, partly the crappy weather, partly I HATE exercise (did I say that already?) I think you get the point.
I have a theory. Wanna hear it? No? Too bad, gonna tell ya anyway!
I need my weight loss to be the result of my changing my eating habits and not as a result of exercising along with this change. I did that the last time and when I stopped as I know I will again I gained it all back. If I can loose weight in spite of not exercising then it shouldn't matter once I do start if I should choose to stop again. My weight loss is not going to be a result of exercise. Exercise will be complimentary to my maintenance instead. That and I'm in terrible shape so it's going to HURT and I don't like pain, of any kind!
So for now I'll keep telling myself, for me, I'm doing this the right way and when I'm ready to get back to the "crunch" I will. The day is coming as soon as the temperature outside is a little better than freaking freezing and the damn rain stops, I'll get at it. But for now, I'm going to continue to eat rabbit food (LOL) and count my points. Love counting points! It's awesome!!!
Tammy.
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Friday, April 19, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Weeks 6, 7, 8 & 9...a little behind I think.
Oh, and yes my behind is much littler!
Ok, where to start...week 6. Not much of a loss that week, can't really recall why probably fell off the wagon or as seems the cycle my loss is over a two week period not one. It did put me at 13lbs lighter and fitting clothes I haven't warn in a while, so not complaining at all!
Week 7, a decent 2.8lbs gone marking my 15.8lb loss at March 16th a short 49 days from my start on this go round with WW.
Week 8, down 3.8lbs! This was significant because I earned my 10% award from WW a key ring to which I will add a star for 25lbs when achieved and a key for my lifetime achievement. This will be my second full key chain and hopefully my last! I honestly thought, when I started, this was going to be hard. So far I'm surprised at how easy it is. Yes it's work but man is it worth it! Fitting a size 9/10 (says that on the label) skirt I bought in 2006 after I lost the first time was motivation enough to keep going.
Week 9, Easter long weekend! And I totally blew the points at Easter dinner on the Friday before weigh in. UGH! Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it. There is no WW in Quesnel. I got on my parents scale and I was up 2lbs! YUCK!!!! However in my defence it was food weight not fat because by Tuesday when I got on the scale I was back down and less than my week 8 weight. Undigested food is very heavy, 2.6lbs worth. TMI? Sorry.
This week I've been really good about what I'm eating. Making sure I get all my fruits and veggies in as well as water, a figgin tonne of water! I'm interested to see if I hit my next target, I only need to loose 2lbs to do it but with the way my weight loss cycle has been going I think I might have to wait another week to hit that one. That's ok, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and only having 12lbs to go I'm pleased with my progress thus far.
I didn't take before pictures, I have enough snapshots to show how ummm large I was (was, love that word) when I'm done however I will post an after picture and be plenty proud to do so!
On a side note, on of my co-workers asked me if I was sick because he noticed I was getting thinner. This was a little concerning because although I've been loosing quickly, just over 2lbs a week. I've not been starving myself. I eat all day long! You should see my lunches! I guess it's noticeable! No, for the record I'm not sick! I'm not anorexic, I still eat and keep it all down, I'm not that desperate to loose the weight that I would harm myself. Besides I love food and eating far too much to deprive myself. Ask anyone who's eaten with me...I eat!
Tammy.
Ok, where to start...week 6. Not much of a loss that week, can't really recall why probably fell off the wagon or as seems the cycle my loss is over a two week period not one. It did put me at 13lbs lighter and fitting clothes I haven't warn in a while, so not complaining at all!
Week 7, a decent 2.8lbs gone marking my 15.8lb loss at March 16th a short 49 days from my start on this go round with WW.
Week 8, down 3.8lbs! This was significant because I earned my 10% award from WW a key ring to which I will add a star for 25lbs when achieved and a key for my lifetime achievement. This will be my second full key chain and hopefully my last! I honestly thought, when I started, this was going to be hard. So far I'm surprised at how easy it is. Yes it's work but man is it worth it! Fitting a size 9/10 (says that on the label) skirt I bought in 2006 after I lost the first time was motivation enough to keep going.
Week 9, Easter long weekend! And I totally blew the points at Easter dinner on the Friday before weigh in. UGH! Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it. There is no WW in Quesnel. I got on my parents scale and I was up 2lbs! YUCK!!!! However in my defence it was food weight not fat because by Tuesday when I got on the scale I was back down and less than my week 8 weight. Undigested food is very heavy, 2.6lbs worth. TMI? Sorry.
This week I've been really good about what I'm eating. Making sure I get all my fruits and veggies in as well as water, a figgin tonne of water! I'm interested to see if I hit my next target, I only need to loose 2lbs to do it but with the way my weight loss cycle has been going I think I might have to wait another week to hit that one. That's ok, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and only having 12lbs to go I'm pleased with my progress thus far.
I didn't take before pictures, I have enough snapshots to show how ummm large I was (was, love that word) when I'm done however I will post an after picture and be plenty proud to do so!
On a side note, on of my co-workers asked me if I was sick because he noticed I was getting thinner. This was a little concerning because although I've been loosing quickly, just over 2lbs a week. I've not been starving myself. I eat all day long! You should see my lunches! I guess it's noticeable! No, for the record I'm not sick! I'm not anorexic, I still eat and keep it all down, I'm not that desperate to loose the weight that I would harm myself. Besides I love food and eating far too much to deprive myself. Ask anyone who's eaten with me...I eat!
Tammy.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Week 5, DONE! With Tremendous Success!!!
Well, imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale at WW and found not only had I lost but I lost a significant amount for one week! OK, I had help from a week long migraine that prevented me from enjoying life, let alone food!
As the weeks pass and the weight comes off I'm finding it's getting easier to make food choices. I look at the nutritional value on labels and I know approximately how many points I'm dealing with per serving. I base my choices on a few key questions, first, how hungry am I will I be satisfied with one serving? Am I willing to sacrifice points to satisfy a craving? And if I can then will a half a serving do the trick? Nine times out of ten yes half will do, or even less I find.
Example, I love chips, all kinds, it's the salt I'm sure but they are my weakness. Yesterday there was a bag of All Dressed sitting on the kitchen table that someone in the house opened. Oh believe me I seriously considered blowing ALL my points and eating the entire bag! Then I stopped myself, thought about all the work and success I've had and took one decent sized chip put the bag down and walked away. Will power is not really something I lack apparently. That one chip however tasted great!
In my moments of weakness I find myself recalling exactly why I'm back at Weight Watchers. It took several years to put the pounds on, and in five short weeks I've dropped two sizes! Why would I risk a set back for momentary satisfaction when I know the real satisfaction will be fitting in my "skinny" clothes again? My ultimate goal once I'm where I want to be is to keep it off for good. I know it's possible I know what I did to gain it back and I know I have the will power to commit to keeping it off.
One of my co-workers just returned from a trip to Hawaii and with him he brought chocolate covered Macadamia nuts. Luckily I'm not a huge fan of chocolate and when he offered I said "no thanks" and walked right past. Even now writing about it I have no remorse for not accepting just one little chocolate, after all it would only be maybe one or two points, what I found more satisfying than the taste I passed up is the fact that I can pass it up and not have regret.
Weight Watchers Points + means you CAN eat a whole box of chocolates if you want but you have to be sure to stick to the points you have left to maintain your weight loss. I've used at most maybe three out of the five weeks two to three of my +points. I try to use up all my daily points but was finding that a challenge, now that I'm down to 28 daily points it's been a little easier to use them. If I have points left at the end of the day, I treat myself to whatever will use them up. It's not like there's a lot, maybe two or three at most. But that's enough for 3,2,1 cake and that's perfect.
So onto week 6 and maybe another two pounds? That would be nice.
Tammy.
As the weeks pass and the weight comes off I'm finding it's getting easier to make food choices. I look at the nutritional value on labels and I know approximately how many points I'm dealing with per serving. I base my choices on a few key questions, first, how hungry am I will I be satisfied with one serving? Am I willing to sacrifice points to satisfy a craving? And if I can then will a half a serving do the trick? Nine times out of ten yes half will do, or even less I find.
Example, I love chips, all kinds, it's the salt I'm sure but they are my weakness. Yesterday there was a bag of All Dressed sitting on the kitchen table that someone in the house opened. Oh believe me I seriously considered blowing ALL my points and eating the entire bag! Then I stopped myself, thought about all the work and success I've had and took one decent sized chip put the bag down and walked away. Will power is not really something I lack apparently. That one chip however tasted great!
In my moments of weakness I find myself recalling exactly why I'm back at Weight Watchers. It took several years to put the pounds on, and in five short weeks I've dropped two sizes! Why would I risk a set back for momentary satisfaction when I know the real satisfaction will be fitting in my "skinny" clothes again? My ultimate goal once I'm where I want to be is to keep it off for good. I know it's possible I know what I did to gain it back and I know I have the will power to commit to keeping it off.
One of my co-workers just returned from a trip to Hawaii and with him he brought chocolate covered Macadamia nuts. Luckily I'm not a huge fan of chocolate and when he offered I said "no thanks" and walked right past. Even now writing about it I have no remorse for not accepting just one little chocolate, after all it would only be maybe one or two points, what I found more satisfying than the taste I passed up is the fact that I can pass it up and not have regret.
Weight Watchers Points + means you CAN eat a whole box of chocolates if you want but you have to be sure to stick to the points you have left to maintain your weight loss. I've used at most maybe three out of the five weeks two to three of my +points. I try to use up all my daily points but was finding that a challenge, now that I'm down to 28 daily points it's been a little easier to use them. If I have points left at the end of the day, I treat myself to whatever will use them up. It's not like there's a lot, maybe two or three at most. But that's enough for 3,2,1 cake and that's perfect.
So onto week 6 and maybe another two pounds? That would be nice.
Tammy.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Week 4, holding steady.
I have to admit I was a little disappointed when I got on the scale this past Saturday. NO CHANGE! What did I expect with the horrible choices I made that week? I should be happy I wasn't up. I ate out twice and although I didn't eat the entire meals they were probably, most definitely loaded with calories! Pair that with zero exercise and well, I have no reason to complain...I didn't gain.
Weigh loss for me is a love-hate relationship. I love that my clothes are starting to not fit in a good way, too loose not too tight. I hate that as the fat comes off the skin takes it's time tightening up. Admittedly, I don't have the skin of the twenty year old me. Two very large babies later I've earned an impressive set of tiger stripes! Add to that reduced fat underneath and a nice (ok not so nice) little apron develops. The bright side? It eventually tightens up and although I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini, I'm not as mushy and lumpy as when the process starts. I'm thinking a pair of Spanx are in order for the time being.
As this week progresses, I know I'm down again. I've been very diligent with keeping track, drinking water and not going over my allotted 29 daily points. I feel, thinner. I'm afraid to step on the scale so I'll leave that to weigh in Saturday morning. Judging by how my normally well fitting pants feel like I'm swimming in them I think I'm on the right track. Now to just get my butt to the gym...I know, I know, wasn't that my goal for last week too? Ya, easier said than done once I'm home. Going back out doesn't seem worth the effort. I guess I'll have to make a shift in that thinking if I expect to continue to loose. I'm almost 1/3 of the way there, I can't stop now!
Tammy.
Weigh loss for me is a love-hate relationship. I love that my clothes are starting to not fit in a good way, too loose not too tight. I hate that as the fat comes off the skin takes it's time tightening up. Admittedly, I don't have the skin of the twenty year old me. Two very large babies later I've earned an impressive set of tiger stripes! Add to that reduced fat underneath and a nice (ok not so nice) little apron develops. The bright side? It eventually tightens up and although I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini, I'm not as mushy and lumpy as when the process starts. I'm thinking a pair of Spanx are in order for the time being.
As this week progresses, I know I'm down again. I've been very diligent with keeping track, drinking water and not going over my allotted 29 daily points. I feel, thinner. I'm afraid to step on the scale so I'll leave that to weigh in Saturday morning. Judging by how my normally well fitting pants feel like I'm swimming in them I think I'm on the right track. Now to just get my butt to the gym...I know, I know, wasn't that my goal for last week too? Ya, easier said than done once I'm home. Going back out doesn't seem worth the effort. I guess I'll have to make a shift in that thinking if I expect to continue to loose. I'm almost 1/3 of the way there, I can't stop now!
Tammy.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Weeks 2 and 3, DONE!
I just realised I missed week 2's update, no worries I'll take care of it with week 3 now that I'm halfway through week 4! Better late than never I always (sometimes) say.
So, what happened in week 2? Well, I'll tell ya. Not much. I switched my weigh-in to Thursday night so I could attend with a friend (I'm a poet too!) and well as I suspected would happen I was up .4lbs. This is not too concerning because it is evening weight and two days earlier than my normal weigh-in. When I weighed myself on my lovely new scale that does everything I was down another few pounds ending week 2 at a loss of 7.4lbs. I did manage a little exercise that week but alas, not my favourite thing to do so avoidance seems to work its way into my routine. I did however start taking vitamins on a regular basis so that's something, right?
Week three, a little disappointing but in defence it was a weird week. My son was off school all week sick and when I'm faced with stressful situations I stop eating, which is a bad thing. How's that? You ask. Well, it slows the metabolism. I am currently eating small amounts every couple of hours, a constant stream of food (healthy, vegetable type food) is entering my body and this keeps my metabolism going, when I stop so does it and it's noticeable. I felt like crap during week 3 and when I weighed-in on Saturday (yup, back to Saturday morning) I was only down 1.2lbs BOOOO! My hope was to loose 2lbs a week, but without exercise which I managed to avoid all through week three what did I expect? My biggest challenge I think this week was drinking water. I loath water it's friggin boring. I tried it with lemon, I tried it with cucumber and finally made it palatable with Tetley Infusions, which are fine but I didn't dare check to see how many points they're worth, guess I should though if I'm going to continue using them.
As week 4 winds up I know there have been some set backs. Like the giant box of chocolates that found their way into my home, I had two. Then there was taking my son out for dinner and having the richest creamiest item on the menu of which I only ate a third, knowing this wouldn't end well if I indulged. Will power is something I don't struggle with. Oh, right the chocolate, ya, I had some extra points at the end of the day so I ate chocolate. Not a habit I'm willing to make though.
On the bright side, my clothes are fitting loosely and it's been noticed. One of my co-workers who recalls my first go round with WW couldn't believe he could see a difference right away. I think it's because I'm tall, and I loose weight in a strange way, at least I think it's strange. It seems I loose from the top down, like it's being pulled away by gravity. I've heard that you loose first where you gained last. For me that would be my extremities and upper body. I'm pear shaped so the butt, thighs and stomach are where I hold most of my weight. Once I start loosing though, the fat seems to soften first and then dissipate. I go through a series of shape changes as I'm loosing and it's frustrating because my clothes fit weird as this is happening, then they just don't fit at all, which is a good thing.
Well, that's it for my update. If there is anyone in the Coquitlam, Port Coquitlam, Port Moody area interested in trying out WeighWatchers please feel free to send me a message. Once you figure out how to work the program I assure you it works and you won't starve to death and you can use your own food. There is nothing you can't do that you set your mind to. Except for one thing, men can't have babies, no matter how hard you try. (A little humour for today) Then again, there is the poo baby I'm sure some men have given birth too...EEEWWWWEEEE I know sorry.
Tammy.
So, what happened in week 2? Well, I'll tell ya. Not much. I switched my weigh-in to Thursday night so I could attend with a friend (I'm a poet too!) and well as I suspected would happen I was up .4lbs. This is not too concerning because it is evening weight and two days earlier than my normal weigh-in. When I weighed myself on my lovely new scale that does everything I was down another few pounds ending week 2 at a loss of 7.4lbs. I did manage a little exercise that week but alas, not my favourite thing to do so avoidance seems to work its way into my routine. I did however start taking vitamins on a regular basis so that's something, right?
Week three, a little disappointing but in defence it was a weird week. My son was off school all week sick and when I'm faced with stressful situations I stop eating, which is a bad thing. How's that? You ask. Well, it slows the metabolism. I am currently eating small amounts every couple of hours, a constant stream of food (healthy, vegetable type food) is entering my body and this keeps my metabolism going, when I stop so does it and it's noticeable. I felt like crap during week 3 and when I weighed-in on Saturday (yup, back to Saturday morning) I was only down 1.2lbs BOOOO! My hope was to loose 2lbs a week, but without exercise which I managed to avoid all through week three what did I expect? My biggest challenge I think this week was drinking water. I loath water it's friggin boring. I tried it with lemon, I tried it with cucumber and finally made it palatable with Tetley Infusions, which are fine but I didn't dare check to see how many points they're worth, guess I should though if I'm going to continue using them.
As week 4 winds up I know there have been some set backs. Like the giant box of chocolates that found their way into my home, I had two. Then there was taking my son out for dinner and having the richest creamiest item on the menu of which I only ate a third, knowing this wouldn't end well if I indulged. Will power is something I don't struggle with. Oh, right the chocolate, ya, I had some extra points at the end of the day so I ate chocolate. Not a habit I'm willing to make though.
On the bright side, my clothes are fitting loosely and it's been noticed. One of my co-workers who recalls my first go round with WW couldn't believe he could see a difference right away. I think it's because I'm tall, and I loose weight in a strange way, at least I think it's strange. It seems I loose from the top down, like it's being pulled away by gravity. I've heard that you loose first where you gained last. For me that would be my extremities and upper body. I'm pear shaped so the butt, thighs and stomach are where I hold most of my weight. Once I start loosing though, the fat seems to soften first and then dissipate. I go through a series of shape changes as I'm loosing and it's frustrating because my clothes fit weird as this is happening, then they just don't fit at all, which is a good thing.
Well, that's it for my update. If there is anyone in the Coquitlam, Port Coquitlam, Port Moody area interested in trying out WeighWatchers please feel free to send me a message. Once you figure out how to work the program I assure you it works and you won't starve to death and you can use your own food. There is nothing you can't do that you set your mind to. Except for one thing, men can't have babies, no matter how hard you try. (A little humour for today) Then again, there is the poo baby I'm sure some men have given birth too...EEEWWWWEEEE I know sorry.
Tammy.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Week 1 DONE!
On January 26th 2013 I started back at Weight Watchers. My starting weight was about 12lbs over the weight I started at when I did WW back in 2006 which means 12 extra pounds I need to get rid of in order to reach my original goal weight. NO PROBLEM!
I must admit, the decision to start at WW again took far too long but up until now I really wasn't ready to make the commitment. What changed? The video in the previous post had a huge impact on me and I will be eternally grateful for having the opportunity to witness such a remarkable transformation. One I know I would not have been capable of. My own journey is daunting enough for me.
So my first week went well, the scale at the WW weigh in was exactly 4lbs less than the week before. My first week usually is a good one, probably because of the added water I retain because of the lack of water I drink. I'm never without my water bottle and when I misplace it I'm in full on panic mode! That coupled with the exorbitant amount of fruit and vegetables I'm eating has I'm sure made a difference. No more empty calories for me!
The nice part about WW is you don't have to eat their food. You can eat your own and just calculate the points. The on line tools are amazing, something that wasn't available in the same capacity the first time around. And my iPhone app, well best invention since sliced bread I tell you! No more writing down everything I consume, with a few taps I'm done!
So, this week my goal is to eat a larger variety of fruits and veggies, exercise twice this week and increase my intake of water. I added a multi vitamin late last week and so far haven't missed a day. Stay tuned for the next weigh-in. I'm going to switch to Thursday night so it won't be a full week and it's in the evening so I don't expect a huge drop like week one. All in all, I'm OK with that because I know this is just the beginning and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Weight Watchers works, it really does. And if you're sitting there telling me "well, it didn't work for me" then I hate to tell you, you didn't do it right. Or, maybe you weren't ready to commit.
Tammy.
I must admit, the decision to start at WW again took far too long but up until now I really wasn't ready to make the commitment. What changed? The video in the previous post had a huge impact on me and I will be eternally grateful for having the opportunity to witness such a remarkable transformation. One I know I would not have been capable of. My own journey is daunting enough for me.
So my first week went well, the scale at the WW weigh in was exactly 4lbs less than the week before. My first week usually is a good one, probably because of the added water I retain because of the lack of water I drink. I'm never without my water bottle and when I misplace it I'm in full on panic mode! That coupled with the exorbitant amount of fruit and vegetables I'm eating has I'm sure made a difference. No more empty calories for me!
The nice part about WW is you don't have to eat their food. You can eat your own and just calculate the points. The on line tools are amazing, something that wasn't available in the same capacity the first time around. And my iPhone app, well best invention since sliced bread I tell you! No more writing down everything I consume, with a few taps I'm done!
So, this week my goal is to eat a larger variety of fruits and veggies, exercise twice this week and increase my intake of water. I added a multi vitamin late last week and so far haven't missed a day. Stay tuned for the next weigh-in. I'm going to switch to Thursday night so it won't be a full week and it's in the evening so I don't expect a huge drop like week one. All in all, I'm OK with that because I know this is just the beginning and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Weight Watchers works, it really does. And if you're sitting there telling me "well, it didn't work for me" then I hate to tell you, you didn't do it right. Or, maybe you weren't ready to commit.
Tammy.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Inspiration
I came across a video this morning on facebook. It was posted by a friend from high school (thanks Kim) and it has inspired me to get off my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself. My cousin said it best after viewing the shared video, and I quote "Wow amazing. I now know I am responsible for my own limitations in life."
The video and her words made me realise that I AM my own worst enemy, we all are. I've been feeling really down lately and a lot has to do with not feeling happy with my appearance. Granted I don't have the health issues this guy overcame but with my messed up back it's only a matter of time and I'm quickly headed in that direction.
I realise that the whole point of Spilt Milk was to help others. Truthfully though how could I possibly help anyone feeling the way I do about myself? That's just impossible. So for the time being, Spilt Milk will be my forum for chronicling my transformation and with that hope to inspire those of you kind enough to read my posts as much as this man, and my very smart cousin have inspired me.
To see what I'm referring to please watch this video here and report back if you are not in the least bit inspired to get off your butt and do something to improve your life. I promise you will thank yourself for making the decision to be a better you. I know I have a battle ahead of me but I also know that I can do it. I've done it once already and I know exactly what it takes. It takes me not feeling sorry for myself, it takes me not procrastinating about it and it takes me being tired of being a fraction of the person I am meant to be.
Here's your challenge, share or keep it personal. Make the decision to make a change in your life and then DO IT!!!! Get off your ass, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just DO IT! I do want to add however, if you are in a place that paralyzes you from making changes, get help. My telling you to get off your ass is of no benefit if you are not in the right mind set to do this with a healthy attitude.
So for now, I'll say. GOOD LUCK to all of you out there who accept this challenge and I look forward to seeing not only my progress but yours as well.
Tammy.
The video and her words made me realise that I AM my own worst enemy, we all are. I've been feeling really down lately and a lot has to do with not feeling happy with my appearance. Granted I don't have the health issues this guy overcame but with my messed up back it's only a matter of time and I'm quickly headed in that direction.
I realise that the whole point of Spilt Milk was to help others. Truthfully though how could I possibly help anyone feeling the way I do about myself? That's just impossible. So for the time being, Spilt Milk will be my forum for chronicling my transformation and with that hope to inspire those of you kind enough to read my posts as much as this man, and my very smart cousin have inspired me.
To see what I'm referring to please watch this video here and report back if you are not in the least bit inspired to get off your butt and do something to improve your life. I promise you will thank yourself for making the decision to be a better you. I know I have a battle ahead of me but I also know that I can do it. I've done it once already and I know exactly what it takes. It takes me not feeling sorry for myself, it takes me not procrastinating about it and it takes me being tired of being a fraction of the person I am meant to be.
Here's your challenge, share or keep it personal. Make the decision to make a change in your life and then DO IT!!!! Get off your ass, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just DO IT! I do want to add however, if you are in a place that paralyzes you from making changes, get help. My telling you to get off your ass is of no benefit if you are not in the right mind set to do this with a healthy attitude.
So for now, I'll say. GOOD LUCK to all of you out there who accept this challenge and I look forward to seeing not only my progress but yours as well.
Tammy.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Self-esteem vs. Self-confidence
I've blogged in the past about the importance of self-esteem and in light of current events feel it necessary to expand on the topic. Self esteem is not in and of it's self a stand alone entity, it's partnered hand in hand with self-confidence. How you view yourself is indicative of how you conduct yourself. They are the yin yang of who we are. Balance is crucial and imperative.
It's like the age old question, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Can you have self-esteem without self-confidence? Can you have self-confidence without self-esteem? I think you can have a tone of self-confidence and diminished self-esteem. Self-esteem is in essence how you view yourself, correct? Self-confidence is how others view you. You can exude self-confidence yet have a very low opinion of yourself, lets call it being humble. However if you have an elevated sense of self-esteem your self-confidence will also be elevated. Your self-confidence doesn't bolster your self-esteem, it exists in spite of it.
Ya, I know confusing. Let me give you an example. I'll use my personal experience as I know it first hand. I was in a relationship where my partner reminded me on a regular basis that I needed to loose weight. I would avoid looking in the full length mirror because I had a very poor opinion of myself, my self-esteem was as low as it could get. However, because I was still a functioning member of society and had a full time job and great friends I made sure that my self-confidence was always at the top of it's game, almost to the point of over compensation. No one was aware of how I felt about myself, I put on the self-confidence mask and muscled through.
I lost the weight I was badgered about, and yes I felt better about myself, my self-esteem rose to new heights to equal that of my self-confidence. But that doesn't mean squat because self-esteem can be dashed with one cruel word from someone you trust and respect. It is the most fragile part of our being and in an instant can be gone.
I had a conversation the other day with a supplier to the company I work for. He's a bit of a chatty cathy and our conversations usually take on a life of their own. We were talking about bullying and Amanda Todd and what kids go through these days. Well, the hard and true reality as unfortunate as it is they put themselves in these compromising situations and when the reaction they receive is not what they were hoping for and for the most part not what they expected they are unable to cope with the situation and find themselves with remorse and regret and worse deep depression and anxiety over the repercussions of what they did. I'm not saying they deserve what they get, they don't what I'm getting at is, first it shouldn't have happened in the first place and second why did it happen at all?
Diminished self-esteem and inflated self-confidence. The need to be accepted and loved and the confidence to seek it no matter the form it takes. A scary combination one that will get a young person into a lot of trouble. Why the diminished self-esteem? There can be several factors or one. It's how the individual processes what's thrown at them. As a parent you can do all you can to make sure your child feels good about themselves. As soon as a peer utters one negative statement the self-doubt begins. As I said before, self-esteem is very fragile and can be shattered in the blink of an eye.
So, to compensate self-confidence becomes exaggerated and somewhat of a Super-man, Super-woman complex sets to work. The I'M INDESTRUCTIBLE attitude takes over and dictates what will make those nasty negative comments go away. And that's when the trouble begins. That's when poor decisions are made and that's when they cross lines that should not be crossed.
There is nothing wrong with healthy self-confidence as long as there is a healthy balance of self-esteem and self-respect to go along with it. Once any part is out of balance, disaster is inevitable.
You, are a beautiful person, inside and out. And when someone tries to convince you your not then you have to, and I really mean this, you have to wonder why? Don't look at it as "they must be right" look at it as "what is so wrong with them they need to project onto me?" Not easy I know, but if you are of the mind set that everyone is entitled to their opinion, including yourself then it is easy to shrug it off and walk away.
If you're a teen struggling with this, because acceptance is so very important, keep in mind that their self-esteem is just as fragile as yours, and even though they portray huge self-confidence, their need to diminish others is a direct reflection of their own damages self-esteem.
Tammy.
It's like the age old question, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Can you have self-esteem without self-confidence? Can you have self-confidence without self-esteem? I think you can have a tone of self-confidence and diminished self-esteem. Self-esteem is in essence how you view yourself, correct? Self-confidence is how others view you. You can exude self-confidence yet have a very low opinion of yourself, lets call it being humble. However if you have an elevated sense of self-esteem your self-confidence will also be elevated. Your self-confidence doesn't bolster your self-esteem, it exists in spite of it.
Ya, I know confusing. Let me give you an example. I'll use my personal experience as I know it first hand. I was in a relationship where my partner reminded me on a regular basis that I needed to loose weight. I would avoid looking in the full length mirror because I had a very poor opinion of myself, my self-esteem was as low as it could get. However, because I was still a functioning member of society and had a full time job and great friends I made sure that my self-confidence was always at the top of it's game, almost to the point of over compensation. No one was aware of how I felt about myself, I put on the self-confidence mask and muscled through.
I lost the weight I was badgered about, and yes I felt better about myself, my self-esteem rose to new heights to equal that of my self-confidence. But that doesn't mean squat because self-esteem can be dashed with one cruel word from someone you trust and respect. It is the most fragile part of our being and in an instant can be gone.
I had a conversation the other day with a supplier to the company I work for. He's a bit of a chatty cathy and our conversations usually take on a life of their own. We were talking about bullying and Amanda Todd and what kids go through these days. Well, the hard and true reality as unfortunate as it is they put themselves in these compromising situations and when the reaction they receive is not what they were hoping for and for the most part not what they expected they are unable to cope with the situation and find themselves with remorse and regret and worse deep depression and anxiety over the repercussions of what they did. I'm not saying they deserve what they get, they don't what I'm getting at is, first it shouldn't have happened in the first place and second why did it happen at all?
Diminished self-esteem and inflated self-confidence. The need to be accepted and loved and the confidence to seek it no matter the form it takes. A scary combination one that will get a young person into a lot of trouble. Why the diminished self-esteem? There can be several factors or one. It's how the individual processes what's thrown at them. As a parent you can do all you can to make sure your child feels good about themselves. As soon as a peer utters one negative statement the self-doubt begins. As I said before, self-esteem is very fragile and can be shattered in the blink of an eye.
So, to compensate self-confidence becomes exaggerated and somewhat of a Super-man, Super-woman complex sets to work. The I'M INDESTRUCTIBLE attitude takes over and dictates what will make those nasty negative comments go away. And that's when the trouble begins. That's when poor decisions are made and that's when they cross lines that should not be crossed.
There is nothing wrong with healthy self-confidence as long as there is a healthy balance of self-esteem and self-respect to go along with it. Once any part is out of balance, disaster is inevitable.
You, are a beautiful person, inside and out. And when someone tries to convince you your not then you have to, and I really mean this, you have to wonder why? Don't look at it as "they must be right" look at it as "what is so wrong with them they need to project onto me?" Not easy I know, but if you are of the mind set that everyone is entitled to their opinion, including yourself then it is easy to shrug it off and walk away.
If you're a teen struggling with this, because acceptance is so very important, keep in mind that their self-esteem is just as fragile as yours, and even though they portray huge self-confidence, their need to diminish others is a direct reflection of their own damages self-esteem.
Tammy.
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