Out Of The Ashes.

Why does it take sinking to such lows that then and only then we realise our own self worth.
I think it takes hitting rock bottom to truly appreciate who we really are and the inner strength we are able to muster to bring us back from the brink.  We all have ingrained survival instincts and that's what kicks in when we want to check out.

Lately I have been in the very honoured position to assist someone back from the brink.  From making the absolute worse decision of their lives due to the very poor decision of another.  Nuf said.  What I find remarkable is the ability with which we all have within us to shift our perception to fit our needs.

When we wallow in self pitty, it isn't because someone told us to.  It's a result of our persception of the situation we find our selves in.  We choose how we react, we are not told how to react.  That doesn't work.  The position I find myself in currently is one of guidance, of sheding light on a new way of seeing things and reasurance, always positive reasureance.

Someone wallowing does not need help with this, they are doing a great job all on their own.  What they do need is a voice of reason who sees this damaging behaviour and calls them on it.  Gently of course but firmly.  Maybe this is a gift or maybe it's just logic, but recognizing someone in dire need of gentel persuasion is something everyone has, it's a matter of taking off the blinders and stepping up to help.

It's not an easy task, knowing just what to say and when.  It's not easy remaining neutral and objective when you know all the person in need, needs is a swift kick in the butt.  It's not easy not absorbing their problems and making them your own.  It's a fine line to walk a balancing act of epic proprotions but it can be done with the right skills.

Elevating someone out of their low is to be done with great trepidation.  Do not assume because they tell you they are all right that they are.  Monitor behaviour, check in offten and make sure the know that you really care.  That you have their best interest at heart and you are always there for them.  Most of all, make sure you are always there. You don't need a degree in psychology to be a friend, just be sure to be the best friend you can be.  If you are not in a position to offer help, don't, you'll only make matters worse.

I came across a status up date on facebook today that sums it up beautifully.  I don't know who said it but I do know who posted it and I would like to thank them for this little nugget of inspiration...

"You can offer guidance to a soul that is lost, but you cannot choose their path. NEVER let another person determine your self worth. You and only you are responsible for making your own happiness!"

Tammy.