The Art Of Lying

We all do it to some degree and if you deny it...you're lying.

There are several different forms of lies.  There are several different reasons for lying and all of which are justifiable to the person spewing the lie.  A lie is only a lie if the person being lied to finds out or already knows the truth.  A lie is also a lie only if the liar gets caught.  Really, think about it.  If someone told you a lie, say a little white lie, we all do it.  And you believed it.  Is it really a lie?  It's become your truth hasn't it?  It's only the liar who knows it's a lie and they aren't about to fess up so it to becomes their truth.  I've blogged about "False Truths" before, this is a little different.

When does a lie become exactly that?  When the person being lied to finds out.  Before then the lie might have been believable.

What about withholding the truth?  What about avoiding being honest with some one and doing something you know you would have to lie about so not to get caught or to not have to face consequences.  Is this the same thing?  That's up to you to decide.  If you live by "what I don't know won't hurt me" then I guess it's ok.  But what if you do know? Then what?

Interesting dilemma.  Do you let the person withholding information know you know?  Or do you let it play out and see how far they are willing to take this risk knowing full well how you may react if you were to find out?  But you already know and because you know and are withholding this knowledge does that make you a liar as well?

Tricky business this lying game.  It's all a matter of morals and perspective.  If you are the type of person who uses lies to get what you want from others, you can justify it eight ways to Sunday it's still lying, it's used for personal gain.  If you only lie to protect yourself or others from harm is that still lying? Yes, but what is motivating the person to lie?  The personal gain they seek is protection from someone else. They're justified.  Still a lie though.

Little white lies, that's a grey area.  We use these usually to keep from hurting someones feelings. "Honey does this dress make me look fat?"  "No, you look awesome!" All the while he sees her as a beached whale in it.  Should he have been honest and risk ruining their relationship?  How would she have reacted if he said "Yes"?  It all depends on the person.  We do ask to be lied to all the time.

"Do you love me?", "I do" All the while they are planning their escape.  Lies are as common place as breathing for some.  It's when you encounter someone who abhors lying and liars and espouses how they NEVER lie and yet you catch them time and time again doing just that, lying.  Where do you draw the line?  When do you "call" them on it?  How far do you let the lies go before you stop them?  How do you justify their lies to make them hurt a little less?  Why? 

All really good questions and if even one makes you stop and think not only about what you lie about and why but what you tolerate in lies from others then this blog has value.  And if you're sitting there on your high horse claiming to have never lied then I ask you this...what "little white LIE" have you ever told to your kids to keep from deeply hurting their feelings?  Like, oh I don't know..."Don't be scared, that needle will only hurt a little bit" Then it's jabbed into their arm, or leg or worse mouth and they know you just lied to them.  They might not believe you the next time.

Like I said, we all do it, we are all guilty at some level.  But they are really only lies if we get caught right?  If we can justify our reasons for doing it is it really that bad?  Is it really lying? I guess that's the million dollar question.

Tammy.