I have blogged about this before but not from this angle. I've written about verbal, emotional and physical abuse and the tole it takes on individuals but I have never written about imaginary abuse.
What I mean by imaginary abuse is exactly that. When someone is so starved for attention that they fabricate horrific events in order to garner sympathy and attention. I know an individual who does this on a regular basis and as a result has a sad pathetic existence plagued by the wrong kind of attention.
I read on the facebook status shuffle application a status that went something like this..."two wrongs don't make a right but two negatives make a positive" OK, yes there is no denying that two negatives make a positive but what they fail to believe is that for every two negatives you only get one positive therefore you will be drowning in negatives in order to attain a drop of positive. See my point?
So this person, used to accuse there ex of sexual abuse, this has now escalated to an accusation of full on rape which happened while they were married. This evolution is an example of imaginary abuse. This person is so needy that they have now blatantly lied at the expense of another human in order to gain the worlds sympathy. Sympathy they do not deserve. Pity, maybe, insane asylum definitely.
What this person, though claiming to be an "expert", doesn't realise is that people who are truly abused either, verbally, emotionally, sexually or physically do not advertise their abuse. They keep it to themselves because of the belief that they some how caused it. They do not advertise to anyone who would listen that their former spouse raped them. They do not celebrate the fact that they were beaten by someone who claimed to love them. The only type of individual who would claim something so heinous is someone who is purely driven by their need for sympathy. This is definitely a mental illness that is damaging on so many levels.
Truly abused individuals are terrified that their abuser will find out no matter the time or distance between them and retaliate. The person who merrily espouses that they were abused has no idea what abuse really is. Either that, or they are so mentally damaged that they suffer masochistic tendencies, which equates to the abuse they suffer being self induced. Which in turn gives them the opportunity to cry victim when all the while they are the predator. I know first hand this person bated their ex into a mild sexual encounter one that did not result in "rape" as claimed and one that was stopped the moment the ex was aware this was not what their spouse wanted. This was not a breach of trust on the part of the alleged offender but blatant entrapment on the part of the alleged victim. Therefore who is the true offender who is the true victim?
Imaginary abuse is symptomatic of a much deeper mental illness. Those individuals who claim imagined abuse are a danger to themselves but more so to those whom they claim abused them. They have no clue or care that their accusations while questionable at best have longer far more detrimental consequence on the innocent accused and on those closest to the accused. Human nature dictates we support the victim and shun the predator. However, when the predator has donned the mask of a victim we are all played as fools.
Be very wary of someone carrying on and on about how they were abused. The chances are it's either all in their head or not at all as it's being conveyed. Unless you happen to know first hand the true situation please as with everything keep in mind there are two sides to every story and with some people you have to take what they tell you with a grain of salt because there is always an agenda or a motive behind such elaborate tales. How you react to their stories will also be indicative to the truth behind it. Should you choose to be sympathetic, listen for the "rest" of the story and ask yourself, "is this for my benefit?" If your response is cold and seemingly uncaring, is the topic of conversation changed or do they continue in an attempt to convince you? Things to look out for.
The easiest way to know who has made up their story of woe is by their demeanour when telling you. Do they cower in on themselves in and attempt to protect themselves from an unseen force, or are they nonchalant and elusive telling you about is as if they were reciting a grocery list? Watch the body language, the eye contact or lack there of (liars avoid eye contact more so than abuse victims) are they animated with their recount? The true and real fact is, someone who has lived through real abuse is less likely to even let you know let alone advertise it to the world for fear of continued abuse, retaliation or personal humiliation. THAT is what abuse victims are reduced to, not sympathy mongering psychopaths...they were/are psychopaths to begin with.
Tammy.
No comments:
Post a Comment