A Little Over A Year Later...

In my last post I commented that I suck at blogging!  Well, it's true!  In my defense I've been busy.

Last August I started a new job.  Assistant Controller for a group of care homes in the lower mainland and island.  Learning a new job is time consuming and in this case very busy with nine facilities.

Also, on November 15th Larry and I got married!!!! That's right folks my dreams are fulfilled.  He's so amazing, every day with him is a gift.  I've never felt such a deep connection with someone.  He respects me and loves me for who I am and I feel the same way about him.  We have our flaws but they are so small and insignificant in each others eyes.  No amount of time with him will be enough.

Oh, and thanks to my darling hubby I am now an archer!  I have two Olympic recurve bows and I won a bronze metal at this years Provincials.  We went to Las Vegas in January and I actually won money so I am a "professional international archer" because of that LOL.  At least that's what Larry says.

At home, my daughter finished her first year at UBC and my son graduated from high school.  He finished the AceIt program for Professional Cook Training and passed his level 1 certification exam.  He going to be working at one of the care homes in the kitchen under a red seal chef so he can get his apprenticeship hours for level 2 which he's hoping to start next January. For now he'll work and save his money (that's the plan anyway).  My daughter will go back to school to get her remaining credits for the 60 required to apply to UBC's school of environmental design in February.  There are only 30 seats available so fingers crossed she gets in.  She's worked her butt off to maintain a high GPA so that should help.

On a personal note, I've decided to self-publish the novel I wrote six years ago!  It's been sitting waiting for me to make a move and now that Amazon has a platform for self publishing I'm going to go for it!  My mom is happy as she loved the book.  These past few days I've been re-reading and tweaking it, I really like what I wrote...it's something I would buy and read for sure.  I hope others feel the same way.  

I really should try harder to keep up with blogging...I'm busy but really? That's not a great excuse, I just need to MAKE time!

With love and light,
Tammy 

Double WOW! A year and a month!!! Boy I SUCK at this!!!

I'm so laughing at myself right now...with the thought of getting back into this blogging thing then life taking over again...UGH silly life, doesn't it know it's interrupting my valuable time wasting blog?


That's ok, I'll post today and see you all in a year :)


Since May of 2014...


I sold the townhouse at a record high for the neighbourhood...you're welcome neighbours.  After some cosmetic updates it sold before it hit the MLS website.  My reason for selling?  Well, I met someone last year and in May of 2014 wasn't ready to divulge the relationship it was still very new. 


We bought a beautiful 3,000+ sq ft house in a very nice area we have a fantastic view as the house is built on the side of a hill (yes we have earthquake insurance).  And the best part, no yard to take care of.  For us that's important because we'd rather enjoy the deck and each others company than work countless hours on the dogs bathroom.  We now have two dogs between us. 


His kids are adults, living their own lives.  I finally met them after several months of dating and it wasn't until we had moved into our house at that.  I was beginning to suspect his kids were all in his head.  He's embraced the "step-dad" roll with open arms.  He's so very understanding of both my kids and their quirky-ness.  His own son was very much like my son.  They developed a close relationship and at times when they are joking around I'm on edge because I'm still not used to my son and my partner being "friends".  It really is more like a father - son relationship as my son refuses to speak to his own dad.  (I'm still working on that one, I don't know if it will ever be repaired).


My beautiful, smart, talented daughter is graduating from high school on Saturday.  She's one of the top students in her class as well as one of the top students who applied to UBC for the September start.  UBC has recognized her with the Chancellors Scholar Designation which from what I understand is a big deal, as well as a scholarship that will cover her first year's tuition at UBC.


I couldn't be more proud...at least not until she's graduating with her Masters in Architecture that is.


My son, my silly, demanding, energetic son...his turn to graduate with be next year, when I post again.  It's been an uphill battle for him but we see the top and are hoping for a smooth ride down.  His dream is to become a Chef (a TV Chef to be exact, he has the personality for it). Since grade nine he's taken all the cooking classes he possibly could and for that he's been accepted in his high schools ACE-IT Professional Cook Level 1 programme.  This is huge because it's Vancouver Community Colleges' first year culinary arts program.  He will graduate next year with his foot in the door for level 2.  He will likely be a Red Seal Chef a year early if he does well.


As I write this and recount what's happened in a year I can not tell you how grateful I am...there are really no words that fully express how I feel.  I am in the best relationship I've ever had, my kids lives are playing out as we hoped and as far as me personally...I feel I'm on the cusp of a major change at work.  I made a lateral move to the sales department and am set to be playing with the big boys within the year.  It's all so surreal and if it is just a dream DO NOT WAKE ME!  Seriously I don't want to open my eyes to find none of this is real!


See you all next year! (or sooner) ;)
Tammy.

WOW! Almost a year?

I can not believe it's been a year since I've posted anything... that's so sad :(


My only excuse, I've been busy...very, very busy.  My life has change exponentially since last May and in retrospect 100% for the better.  Well mostly ;)


With the intent to jump back on the blogging bandwagon I'm not going to go into the details of my personal life...let's just say I'm very happy with where I am and am looking forward to a wonderful future.


In short, since May...


My legal affairs with my ex-husband are now in order (for the most part) the divorce was final March 1st of this year.


The man I lived with for six years after my separation moved out of the townhouse we own together.  It's now a business partnership of sorts and amicable at the moment.  These things can change at the drop of a hat so I'm not committing to my previous comment.


I have a second son...a Chinese home stay student.  He's 15 and for the most part easy to "parent" we've has our moments and rules have had to be enforced and re-enforced but things there are good.


My beautiful intelligent daughter is very close to attaining her N and will have a whole new found freedom that goes with it.  She's still amazingly successful in school and looking forward to her last year of high school "finally!"


My darling son, well things are as usual all over the place with him.  He struggles with school and has decided to get a head start on next year by enrolling in summer school.  He wants to take two classes but I think I'll limit him to one.  No sense in overwhelming him, he doesn't do well when that happens. He is thoroughly enjoying his cook training class and works in the school cafeteria often...might be for the free lunches though.


Life for me this past year has been about lessons.  Lessons in acceptance, lessons in letting go, lessons in embracing change and not fighting it.  I've learned that people come and go in our lives to help us grow into the best versions of ourselves the versions we are meant to become before our time here is done.  I've learned that the issues of others are none of my business as much as my issues are none of theirs.  I've learned to own my life in order to be able to share it.  I've learned that compromise is not always the best policy. I've learned that it's easier to love others when first I love myself and finally I've learned that unconditional love does exist, it is real. Oh, and I've learned the difference between "attachment" and truly loving someone.


It's been a great year and a trying year.  What I'm looking forward to in this next twelve months is, well, for me to know and you to find out, so stay tuned and I promise I won't wait another year to let you in on my spilt milk.


With much love and light,
Tammy.

Sticktoitiveness!

Nice word, sticktoitiveness...not a real word obviously but a good descriptive of something I struggle with daily. 

Last night as we were driving home my son asked me what I had for dinner.  He had a baseball game at 6:30pm which meant he had to be at the field by 5:30pm to practice, which in turn meant he ate at his dads and I rushed him to his game.  I told him, as I was dropping him off, that I would be back after I had something to eat. Thus the reason for his question.

I wasn't exactly "good" about my dinner choice.  As I was driving around Pitt Meadows looking for something fast and easy I passed McDonald's, thought about it for a moment and decided it wasn't worth the risk.  Continuing on I came across a Vera's Burgers.  Better choice? Maybe, but still not great. 

Then my issue with sticktoitiveness kicked in and I made an executive decision to go for it! After all I've been really good so far this week, my lunches consisted of lots of vegetables and fruits so all good there.  I had 19 points left for the day, I get 26 for the whole day (for anyone who doesn't know this, I'm doing Weight Watchers, they use a point system).  19 is plenty for dinner, normally more than I usually have by the end of the day so I figured Vera's would be fine. 

I ordered the Baja Burger, soooooo good! With sweet potato fries and a diet Coke. According to my points calculator my burger was worth 12 points! And damn it sure was!!! The sweet potato fries (for the amount I ate) were 6, again, well worth it.  Diet pop of any kind is 0.  So when I told my son what I had as we drove, he voiced his concern about my sticking to my plan.

He doesn't quite get how the points work so I explained that and added that I have extra points if needed, 49 extra points.  We talked about how I had done WW before and reached my goal, maintained it and achieved life time.  He commented that I should have stuck with it back then so I wouldn't have to do it again.  Sticktoitiveness.  Ya, not so good at that.  I love food,  I love eating I'm a true hedonist when it comes to all things culinary! But for my son I'll stick to it!

He's concerned that I'll go back to my old habits, thinking I can eat whatever I want.  Honestly, I worry about that too.  Being aware is half the battle though, knowing your limits is the rest.  I've learned that I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want in whatever quantity suits me.  I know I will have to "watch" my food choices in order to maintain a healthy weight and I know that I'm going to have to exercise whether I like it or not!

Good ol' sticktoitiveness...I can do it!

Tammy.

Exercise IS a four letter word!

In my vocabulary anyway...

So as you all know, because I've stuffed it down your throats, I'm doing the Weight Watchers thing to loose weight.  To date I'm down 22.8lbs!  Yeah me!  But there is a component to this process I've avoided like the plague!  Exercise! Hate it! Guess I'm lazy at heart!

I have a busy life, mostly spent attending to my teens.  I also work full time and only have Saturday and Sunday to do my things, which usually ends up being their things so when would I exercise anyway?  OK maybe I could squeeze something in after work between rushing home to make dinner then rushing back out to get to the variously required events my kids are involved in, ya, maybe I could do something (said with rolling eyes) but I don't.  Partly the time constraints, partly the crappy weather, partly I HATE exercise (did I say that already?)  I think you get the point.

I have a theory.  Wanna hear it?  No? Too bad, gonna tell ya anyway! 

I need my weight loss to be the result of my changing my eating habits and not as a result of exercising along with this change.  I did that the last time and when I stopped as I know I will again I gained it all back.  If I can loose weight in spite of not exercising then it shouldn't matter once I do start if I should choose to stop again.  My weight loss is not going to be a result of exercise.  Exercise will be complimentary to my maintenance instead.  That and I'm in terrible shape so it's going to HURT and I don't like pain, of any kind!

So for now I'll keep telling myself, for me, I'm doing this the right way and when I'm ready to get back to the "crunch" I will.  The day is coming as soon as the temperature outside is a little better than freaking freezing and the damn rain stops, I'll get at it.  But for now, I'm going to continue to eat rabbit food (LOL) and count my points.  Love counting points! It's awesome!!!

Tammy.

Weeks 6, 7, 8 & 9...a little behind I think.

Oh, and yes my behind is much littler!

Ok, where to start...week 6.  Not much of a loss that week, can't really recall why probably fell off the wagon or as seems the cycle my loss is over a two week period not one.  It did put me at 13lbs lighter and fitting clothes I haven't warn in a while, so not complaining at all!

Week 7, a decent 2.8lbs gone marking my 15.8lb loss at March 16th a short 49 days from my start on this go round with WW. 

Week 8, down 3.8lbs!  This was significant because I earned my 10% award from WW a key ring to which I will add a star for 25lbs when achieved and a key for my lifetime achievement.  This will be my second full key chain and hopefully my last! I honestly thought, when I started, this was going to be hard.  So far I'm surprised at how easy it is.  Yes it's work but man is it worth it!  Fitting a size 9/10 (says that on the label) skirt I bought in 2006 after I lost the first time was motivation enough to keep going. 

Week 9, Easter long weekend! And I totally blew the points at Easter dinner on the Friday before weigh in.  UGH!  Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it.  There is no WW in Quesnel.  I got on my parents scale and I was up 2lbs! YUCK!!!! However in my defence it was food weight not fat because by Tuesday when I got on the scale I was back down and less than my week 8 weight.  Undigested food is very heavy, 2.6lbs worth.  TMI? Sorry.

This week I've been really good about what I'm eating.  Making sure I get all my fruits and veggies in as well as water, a figgin tonne of water!  I'm interested to see if I hit my next target, I only need to loose 2lbs to do it but with the way my weight loss cycle has been going I think I might have to wait another week to hit that one.  That's ok, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and only having 12lbs to go I'm pleased with my progress thus far.

I didn't take before pictures, I have enough snapshots to show how ummm large I was (was, love that word)  when I'm done however I will post an after picture and be plenty proud to do so!

On a side note, on of my co-workers asked me if I was sick because he noticed I was getting thinner.  This was a little concerning because although I've been loosing quickly, just over 2lbs a week.  I've not been starving myself.  I eat all day long! You should see my lunches!  I guess it's noticeable!  No, for the record I'm not sick!  I'm not anorexic, I still eat and keep it all down, I'm not that desperate to loose the weight that I would harm myself.  Besides I love food and eating far too much to deprive myself.  Ask anyone who's eaten with me...I eat!

Tammy.

Week 5, DONE! With Tremendous Success!!!

Well, imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale at WW and found not only had I lost but I lost a significant amount for one week!  OK, I had help from a week long migraine that prevented me from enjoying life, let alone food!

As the weeks pass and the weight comes off I'm finding it's getting easier to make food choices.  I look at the nutritional value on labels and I know approximately how many points I'm dealing with per serving.  I base my choices on a few key questions, first, how hungry am I will I be satisfied with one serving?  Am I willing to sacrifice points to satisfy a craving? And if I can then will a half a serving do the trick?  Nine times out of ten yes half will do, or even less I find.

Example, I love chips, all kinds, it's the salt I'm sure but they are my weakness.  Yesterday there was a bag of All Dressed sitting on the kitchen table that someone in the house opened.  Oh believe me I seriously considered blowing ALL my points and eating the entire bag!  Then I stopped myself, thought about all the work and success I've had and took one decent sized chip put the bag down and walked away.  Will power is not really something I lack apparently.  That one chip however tasted great!

In my moments of weakness I find myself recalling exactly why I'm back at Weight Watchers.  It took several years to put the pounds on, and in five short weeks I've dropped two sizes!  Why would I risk a set back for momentary satisfaction when I know the real satisfaction will be fitting in my "skinny" clothes again?  My ultimate goal once I'm where I want to be is to keep it off for good.  I know it's possible I know what I did to gain it back and I know I have the will power to commit to keeping it off.

One of my co-workers just returned from a trip to Hawaii and with him he brought chocolate covered Macadamia nuts.  Luckily I'm not a huge fan of chocolate and when he offered I said "no thanks" and walked right past.  Even now writing about it I have no remorse for not accepting just one little chocolate, after all it would only be maybe one or two points, what I found more satisfying than the taste I passed up is the fact that I can pass it up and not have regret. 

Weight Watchers Points + means you CAN eat a whole box of chocolates if you want but you have to be sure to stick to the points you have left to maintain your weight loss.  I've used at most maybe three out of the five weeks two to three of my +points.  I try to use up all my daily points but was finding that a challenge, now that I'm down to 28 daily points it's been a little easier to use them.  If I have points left at the end of the day, I treat myself to whatever will use them up.  It's not like there's a lot, maybe two or three at most.  But that's enough for 3,2,1 cake and that's perfect.

So onto week 6 and maybe another two pounds?  That would be nice.
Tammy.