This is a very sensitive topic for me. My son is the victim of bullying. I can't yet say he's a survivor because the bullying continues at every turn.
His dad and I put him in Cadets to help him learn discipline and respect. So far it's working but even in this environment he's been bullied. Not by his commanding officers but by fellow Cadets who took it upon themselves at break to tell my son for no apparent reason to "go f**k himself". He's not sure why they said this, he wasn't even talking to them, was engrossed in a conversation with a few other Cadets.
This upset my son, he went outside because he didn't know exactly what to do about it. He didn't want to tell because he felt that would make him a "tattle-tale". I don't blame him for feeling this way. Two years ago a kid threw a rock and hit my son in the forehead. The schoolyard supervisor saw this and the kid was dealt with. He got a three day suspension and my son got about two weeks of tormenting by the bullies friends. They did it in such a way that it would have been his word against theirs and we all know there is power in numbers. So you see, he's reluctant to report it because it really doesn't help.
Back to Cadets. So one of the officers finds him and asks what's going on? My son tells him but won't say who it was, he knows there are repercussions he's been here before. The officer then proceeded to let all the cadets know that bullying and swearing are not tolerated by anyone and if it happens again the culprit will be asked to leave cadets. Fair enough, problem is, now it's going to happen without the higher ranking officers knowing. Bullies are a clever bunch, they know how not to get caught.
Why am I telling this story? Well, because there has been a few teenagers who have taken their own lives because of the torment they had to live with. It scares and sickens me because my own son is headed in this direction. I just pray that he becomes a survivor of bullying and not a victim who takes his own life to end the pain. Why do kids do this to each other? Where are their parents in this?
I know you're not supposed to point your finger at the parents because you'll be met with "it's not our fault, we had no idea" BULLSHIT! If my kid was bullying another and I got a call from the school about it, I would do everything in my power to let my kid know it's not acceptable. Why? Because I'm not a bully, I don't have it in me. However, there are plenty of people out there who do and they likely bully their own kids or spouses and think "good job Johnny, yer a chip off the old block".
When kids set out to torment their victim, they know exactly what they are doing. How can they not? There is NO innocence in bullying. It's done maliciously with the intended end result being harm to another individual. Where the hell did they get the idea this was ok? It's taught in school that it's not acceptable, so can't be there. Is it taught in every single home out there? Obviously not.
At some point in a child's development something breaks. Is it because of too harsh punishment from their parents? Maybe. Is it learned behaviour? Maybe. The thing is no one knows for sure because the bullies don't usually step forward and claim ownership of their actions, nor do the parents of the bullies. You see the victims, but not the perpetrators. Maybe it would be less cool if the bullies were paraded before their peers and let them see how it feels to be tormented. Tit for tat right? An eye for an eye? Turning the other cheek isn't working, you're just setting yourself up to get that one slapped too.
I am so fed up with bullying. The victims tormented into suicide are human and entitled to live without being bullied, why they hell can't these bullies see what they do is so wrong on so many levels? Maybe there needs to be a law passed that makes bullying a criminal offence. Assault is punishable by law, bullying should be too, it's no different from assault when the outcome is the same, and sometimes worse.
I know some of you reading this will probably scoff and say, it's peer pressure or a result of bad parenting or what ever, the point is, bullies make a conscious decision to bully, it's not done by accident it's done on purpose to hurt another individual. It's a choice, like deciding between a chocolate bar or a bag of chips. All they have to do is develop a conscience and set of morals and maybe, just maybe they will make the right decision and not cause the death of an innocent life.
Tammy.
